Was this in the Plan?: children's grief

This is the story of my family, and how we are learning to thrive and not just survive when life didn't go quite as we planned.

I'm Steph, a suburban mother, sometime Marketing Director, now family plate spinner, journalist, carer, nurse, spokesperson, campaigner and marathon runner (actual as well as metaphorical).

I have four extraordinary children, my two boys have a diagnosis of high functioning autism yet they could not be more different, my eldest daughter is a creative social justice warrior, my youngest daughter was born with a very rare genetic condition.

In December 2015 I also became a widow, my husband, the father of my children & partner of 27 years, Andy, died of cancer, leaving us with a gaping hole in our lives. 13 months later our darling daughter Daisy died.

My life was never going to be predictable but as Andy always said, it is what it is, it's how you respond which makes the difference.

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