I'm not sure how I feel. If Daisy was still here to celebrate her birthday I wonder what we would have been able to do, what she would have been able to do?
Last year we went to see Disney on Ice. She was so excited to see her favourite character, Olaf, from Frozen. We left after the interval however. The noise was overwhelming for her, she was uncomfortable, she was trying so hard but it was just all too much and her excitement turned to anger as she lashed out at anyone getting too close.
This time last year I was starting to have conversations about changing her wheelchair to a bigger one, one that she wouldn't be able to wheel herself but would give her better support and comfort. I knew that our trip to see Disney on Ice was probably the last treat, not because I knew she would die but everything was becoming harder and harder for her. Getting out and about was just too difficult, for Daisy and for us.
In hindsight it was the beginning of the end. As her Movement Therapist said at her funeral "The clock struck twelve and it was Daisy's time to go".
We always made such a big fuss of Daisy on her birthday. Typical Daisy to arrive prematurely just before Christmas! I felt that we couldn't really start Christmas celebrations until we had celebrated Daisy's birthday.
Her first birthday was spent in hospital, no surprises there, she spent a few in hospital over the years. Wherever she was however there was excitement and presents and cake and Daisy was the centre of attention, Princess Daisy!
I can look back on so many happy memories of celebrations. So many things we did together.
We're going bowling for her birthday. She had a bowling party one year so we will go back to where we celebrated that birthday and remember that time. Jules is going to take a card and balloon to the chapel at Great Ormond Street. Her old school friends have made a card. There will be cake, we will raise a glass.
|Daisy's birthday card made by the children at her old school|
There won't be any excited squeals or frantic tearing open of presents or blowing out candles.
I was thinking about how I would want other people to mark Daisy's birthday, what gift could they give now she is no longer with us. I'd like to use Daisy's birthday to remind you all that you have in your power to give the gift of life. To sign the organ donor register, to register as a bone marrow donor, to give blood. Daisy received pints and pints of blood and blood products over her 12 years. We always knew she would not be a candidate for a small bowel transplant, she had too many other issues going on, but on our journey we met so many families who were waiting to receive donated organs. Some children died before they could receive a transplant, for others, like Daisy's friends Izzy and Poppy it gave them back their lives. Some like Amy are waiting for their call, their lives on hold.
So for Daisy's birthday the greatest gift you could give is to make sure you have made a choice about whether you want to donate your organs after your death and if you do, to make sure you tell your family your wishes so that they can honour them on your behalf.
Happy Birthday my darling girl. Forever twelve,