Was this in the Plan?: April 2017

Back in the narrative

Andy and I believed strongly that experiences of life were as important a part of our children's upbringing as their formal education. Despite the limitations of respite and the need to manage Daisy's care we were still doggedly determined to make sure that our other three children were able to have a childhood rich with experiences and where possible the chance to visit new places and meet new people.

I promised Andy when he died that I would still do that, I would still ensure that our children saw the world and experienced life.

Last week Xanthe and I went to New York for a short break. It occurred to me that this was the longest we had spent together on our own since Daisy had been born. What a wonderful opportunity. We were celebrating Xanthe's recent 18th birthday, fulfilling one of our plans, a mum and daughter, girls only holiday in NYC.

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This is the story of my family, and how we are learning to thrive and not just survive when life didn't go quite as we planned.

I'm Steph, a suburban mother, sometime Marketing Director, now family plate spinner, journalist, carer, nurse, spokesperson, campaigner and marathon runner (actual as well as metaphorical).

I have four extraordinary children, my two boys have a diagnosis of high functioning autism yet they could not be more different, my eldest daughter is a creative social justice warrior, my youngest daughter was born with a very rare genetic condition.

In December 2015 I also became a widow, my husband, the father of my children & partner of 27 years, Andy, died of cancer, leaving us with a gaping hole in our lives. 13 months later our darling daughter Daisy died.

My life was never going to be predictable but as Andy always said, it is what it is, it's how you respond which makes the difference.

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Back in the narrative

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