Tis the season to be jolly

Sometimes even I am taken aback by the many twists and turns of our lives.  For all of November Daisy was in Great Ormond Street where she had a major five hour surgery, central line infection and sepsis, blood transfusions, fluid resuscitation's and various ongoing bladder infections.  Once  she was stable and the hospital were not doing any more than we would do at home (which as you know is quite a lot really!), we transferred for a lovely transitional stay to our hospice, this time the one in Hampton, Shooting Star House. 

Happy to be in the ambulance transferring to Shooting Star House

Happy Birthday Daddy Pig!

Anyone who knows Daisy well will know that one of the most important things in her life is Peppa Pig, the cartoon character - in Daisy's world she is Peppa, Jules is George, I am mummy pig and Andy is Daddy Pig.  It is an absolute sign of affection if she calls you "Pig".  Andy bears a lot of similarities to Peppa's daddy - he likes to hide away and read his paper, he's not very good at keeping fit, he loves chocolate cake and he often gets things wrong which mummy pig has to sort out!!!  But most of all, Peppa loves him, just as Daisy loves her own Daddy Pig!

Here's to the geeks - because of them I'm not alone

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, Inventor of the World Wide Web

When I left university and came to London with Andy my first job was a graduate traineeship at Mercury Communications, the telephone company set up as a rival to the de-nationalised British Telecom.  I worked in various bits of the company - from the mobile phone division, to the messaging division to managing the Criminal Justice Sector Marketing for the Government Sector Division.  At this time the internet was in its early infancy and being developed and used by techie people in darkened rooms.  Not long after I joined Mercury a new Chief Executive was appointed, his name was Mike Harris - he was (and is) a real business visionary and he spearheaded a company wide programme called Imagine 97 (bearing in mind it was 1992 at the time!!!) which was focused on getting the whole company to think about the possibilities of communication and technology offered by the company five years on (and beyond).  I vividly remember the main premise was that the communications sector would grow to offer what the company called "PIE in the Palm" - People, Information and Technology in the Palm of your hand.

Extreme Multi-tasking

On Sunday I completed my last run in the challenge I had set myself earlier this year to run 7 races to mark 7 years of care by our hospice, ShootingStar-Chase for our family.  The last race in my series of runs was the Loseley 10k - a very challenging cross country run over fields, up hills and down sandy tracks - made even more challenging by the torrential rain we drove through to get there!  I was joined by my lovely boys, Theo and Jules who had been cajoled into running the 4k version of the race.  I had also agreed to give a speech to the assembled runners on the start line about the hospice and what it means for our family.  This is what I mean when I titled this post extreme multi-tasking  - really how many other people turning up for that race had had to get up several times the night before to administer pain relief to their child, disconnect her TPN, rouse the reluctant boys, battle through driving rain and closed roads then stand up and give a speech before jumping off the stage and running 10K across muddy fields????

It's all in the mind

I've been thinking more and more about mental health issues and emotional welfare over the past few months.  When you are so bogged down in the diagnosis, the medical stuff, the "just getting it all done" it's easy sometimes to forget the wider impact of what is happening.  Day in day out we take for granted the pain and discomfort Daisy goes through, the interventions she has to tolerate, the discomfort she constantly feel.  It's been part of her life and our lives for as long as she has been with us and in our determination to keep Daisy away from hospital Andy and I have become experts in many medical procedures and interventions.  When she was discharged home from the neonatal unit we soon learned how to pass a naso-gastric tube so that we could avoid midnight drips to A&E to get one passed, later we learned how to change her gastrostomy button, then when she needed TPN to survive we learned how to administer the intravenous drip and drugs that keeps her alive, change the dressings around the line, manage her ileostomy stoma and catheterise her mitrofanoff stoma into her bladder.

May the odds be ever in your favour

Those of you with teenagers will recognise this picture.  It's from the film "The Hunger Games", in a very brief nutshell it's about a group of young people who are selected to represent the place they were born to participate in an annual televised show, The Hunger Games, where they fight to survive, the ultimate survivor wins the show.  The show is manipulated, like any reality show, to make it more exciting for the audience, who are placing bets on who will live and who will die.  This scene is where Katniss, the heroine, who has managed to get away from the rest of the participants in order to keep safe, is forced to flee from safety and change her plans as the show's producers generate huge fireballs to chase her down and back into the action....

When you least expect it.....

I ran my first half marathon since 1996 yesterday.  Last time I ran a half marathon I was considerably younger and the following day I also discovered I was pregnant with our first child, Theo.  I was so pleased at my time yesterday, I exceeded my expectations and came in at 1:49:07 still feeling strong and definitely with enough mileage left in my middle-aged legs to cover the full marathon - a commitment I have agreed to take on for our hospice next year!

But something happened yesterday which hit me like a ton of bricks - a mile into my run, getting into a steady rhythm, I started to notice my fellow runners, the majority, like me, were running for charities, many had signs on their backs dedicating their run to a late mother, or father or friend.  And I was struck by the enormity of what I was doing, early that morning I had tucked the blankets around a peaceful Daisy - hooked up to her drip, with extension bags on her gastrostomy to drain bile, her ileostomy to drain faecal waste and her catheter - surrounded by her toys and books....and at that moment, a mile into the race, I wanted to stop and sit on the side of the road and sob my heart out.

The Waiting Game....

We know the waiting game well, we parents of children with additional or medical needs.  Waiting for results, waiting for appointments, waiting for confirmation, waiting for the post, waiting to see if the treatment is working, our lives are a waiting game interspersed with rushes of adrenaline when the waiting stops momentarily and before we have to move onto the next thing we are waiting for.  But the waiting never stops, there's always something that could help, that may make a difference, that will provide some support - it's part of the special parent job description "must get used to waiting".