We achieved another milestone yesterday. Since Christmas every time we have tried to get another break at our hospice our plans have been scuppered at the last minute, mainly by Daisy getting an infection and becoming very poorly. Well we managed it at last, and I took Daisy to Christophers, the Chase Hospice in Guildford, yesterday afternoon. I did not want to jinx anything so did not pack for her until the very last minute and there was a little glitch when she developed four strange new spots on her face (which the doctors think are some sort of allergy reaction).

She is there for two nights until Thursday lunchtime - theoretically this should give me a break but the reality is I have had a day of taking rubbish to the dump, sorting out the children's clothes, tidying cupboards and taking bags to the charity shop. I know to some people this will not be the ideal day off but for me it is a chance to start gaining some control back, over the past few months (and years) we have lived off our nerves, ultimately Daisy's condition is incurable and the uncertainty of what will be around the corner is always going to be there but at least we have learned to go with the flow of it now. This way of life is the norm for us now so rather than putting off sorting out the house until things get better I have decided to deal with things now. Things have not got worse and that's the best way to look with things. so rather than putting off all those house tidying projects I'm going to tackle them now....I have black bags at the ready and I'm braced to sort out the children's wardrobes once and for all!

I did speak to the nurses looking after Daisy this evening and she has a low grade fever so I'm keeping everything crossed this does not materialise into something more sinister. As always I sleep with my mobile and the home phone next to my bed so will not be suprised if I do get a call in the early hours of the morning. It will be a bit of logistical nightmare if the hospice do call to say that Daisy needs to be back in hospital however as Andy is in Manchester tonight so I am on my own with the three older children. We are blessed with the most wonderful friends and I know I can phone any number of good friends in the early hours if needs be to sit with the children if I do need to drive to Guildford.

Andy is in Manchester for a couple of business development meetings for his new business. He officially leaves his company on a redundancy package next week and we both agree that this is the best thing that could happen to us. He was looking increasingly tired and stressed and could not have continued at the pace that he was working, it is so nice to see him looking relaxed and even losing a few pounds in weight as a result of being made redundant! The one thing Daisy has taught us is to really put things in perspective - the most important thing is family time and creating happy memories. On Friday Andy will be able to attend one of Xanthe's school assemblies for the first time in years, that is worth all the bonuses in the world!

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