Was this in the Plan?: #vlm2016

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20 April 2016

It's only been 4 months

It's only been 4 months. 4 months since I last held Andy's hand, 4 months since he was in this house. In the days and weeks afterwards I was swept along by the wave of practicalities, the memorial, the funeral, the paperwork.

In the past four months I have been grateful in many ways for the challenges and distraction of keeping the plates spinning with my family. The week after Andy died it was Daisy's birthday, then Christmas, New Year, the final goodbyes, hospital appointments for Daisy, meetings at the children's schools and colleges, two more birthdays - Theo is now 19, Xanthe turned 17, Easter, Valentines, Mother's Day.

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This is the story of my family, and how we are learning to thrive and not just survive when life didn't go quite as we planned.

I'm Steph, a suburban mother, sometime Marketing Director, now family plate spinner, journalist, carer, nurse, spokesperson, campaigner and marathon runner (actual as well as metaphorical).

I have four extraordinary children, my two boys have a diagnosis of high functioning autism yet they could not be more different, my eldest daughter is a creative social justice warrior, my youngest daughter was born with a very rare genetic condition.

In December 2015 I also became a widow, my husband, the father of my children & partner of 27 years, Andy, died of cancer, leaving us with a gaping hole in our lives. 13 months later our darling daughter Daisy died.

My life was never going to be predictable but as Andy always said, it is what it is, it's how you respond which makes the difference.

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20 April 2016

It's only been 4 months

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